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A good post that I agree pretty strongly with - Journal of Omnifarious

Oct. 30th, 2005

07:54 pm - A good post that I agree pretty strongly with

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A Call for Large Scale Cultural Change. That change being that women should adopt the role of initiators of relationships.

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From:rosencrantz319
Date:October 31st, 2005 04:14 am (UTC)
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From:noveldevice
Date:October 31st, 2005 04:36 am (UTC)
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I agree. The reversal of a situation that doesn't work usually just results in another situation that doesn't work. I'd be more eloquent, but it's late and I just finished grading a bunch of mostly incoherent papers. Argh. I want to find the high school comp teachers of about half my sixty students and slap them silly.
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From:catarzyna
Date:November 1st, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
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I'd be more eloquent, but it's late and I just finished grading a bunch of mostly incoherent papers. Argh. I want to find the high school comp teachers of about half my sixty students and slap them silly.

I feel your pain; I have thus far learned from my student's essays that...

Evidently, Abraham founded Christianity and Moses was a Christian too. Oh don't forget the Roman Empire's first religion was Christianity! The slaves in the US were freed after the War of 1812. So much for the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 because Abraham Lincoln was a day late and a dollar short by this student’s essay. *flops over* Neither I nor the textbooks said these things. Not to mention all of the horrible grammar and sentence structure.

The problem is that secondary school teachers are mired down in politics, overcrowded classrooms and paperwork. The teachers are first to be punished for fear that the district might be sued if the student is actually disciplined. The lack of discipline and fear has created a less than ideal teaching environment. When the students finally experience college they are out of their element. I have mostly freshmen and I find this is an all too common an occurrence. They will shape up about the time you need to let them go. I always feel good about that in the end. :-)
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From:morinon
Date:October 31st, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
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I'm Batman, and I support this.
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From:sassy_54
Date:October 31st, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
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I posted this response for her as well, but I wanted to share it with you.

I am a woman who is recently back out on the dating scene after having been in a relationship for 9 years. After a suitable grieving (really?) period I started internet dating. I am most definitely not a shy person and am in deed someone who tries to initiate things. Only once out of the many times that I have tried to initiate, did the man continue talking to me. I believe there is a huge intimidation factor when it comes to women pursuing men. I read a very funny but thought-provoking book called "He's Just Not that Into You". That book stated categorically that men do not like being pursued. I would really like to know if that is true. From the responses I'm getting it seems to be. I mean, if you have several long IM sessions, or e-mail sessions, or even phone calls with someone, and he is not asking if you want to get together, why can't the woman. I try, and then they run away without telling me what happened. The one that didn't run is very nice, though! We're going on our 2nd date tonight :o)

Thank you for this post. I really do wish that more men would be accepting of strong women initiating the relationship. I just don't see it happening any time soon.
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From:memegarden
Date:October 31st, 2005 06:36 pm (UTC)
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There are some long-standing evolutionary components to the tendency for males to initiate and females to stand by waiting for males to initiate. This is not to say that females initiating is a bad idea, at all. But it does run against some ingrained inclinations that go beyond culture, and, given that, I find it unlikely that it would ever become the default expectation.

The Lesbian Sheep Problem
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From:omnifarious
Date:November 2nd, 2005 05:45 am (UTC)
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*nod* I was kinda thinking about that. I was kinda thinking about your post too, but couldn't think of anything better to say. :-)

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From:rainonthewind
Date:November 1st, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
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I agree about the "men not wanting to be pursued" thing. In my experience, most of the men I have been interested in typically had strong enough personalities that they felt they should be the initiators. Or something. They certainly weren't interested in my strong and forward personality.

I hate initiating things. I've done it, and I'd do it again, but frequent rejection has left me cringing inside. Also, I don't enjoy being the pursuer. It's playing to my gender role, but I can't change what turns me on. I like a person who is confident and strong-willed, and one way to select for that is to let them initiate. I surely will try to let them know I'm interested though.

However, I strongly believe that if you will not initiate, you are not entitled to respond less than politely and kindly to the initiation attempts of others. (Be realistic, I don't mean rape or non-consensual smooching.) Nor will I bitch about it if someone doesn't initiate. I'll either ask them myself, or let it go. Similarly, I won't flirt unless either I am willing to follow through, or it is extremely clear to all parties that it is not serious.

With equal rights come equal responsibilities. Women today have the right to initiate relationships. We also have the right to choose not to, and when we make that choice I believe we must take responsibility for our actions.

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From:omnifarious
Date:November 1st, 2005 12:55 pm (UTC)
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I see you as the intiator in the case of our relationship. You messaged me first, not I you.

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From:sassy_54
Date:November 1st, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)
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I mentioned this to omnifarious, but I wanted to let you know that I like the way you think :o)
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From:catarzyna
Date:November 1st, 2005 12:29 pm (UTC)
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I've been the initiator in my past three relationships. It only took one of those a decade to actually find it's way. Lavender Rose, et al. :-)
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From:omnifarious
Date:November 1st, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
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That doesn't surprise me. :-)

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From:catarzyna
Date:November 1st, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
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I was actually a little surprised when I realized it. :-)
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