Inspired to hunt this down by noveldevice - Journal of Omnifarious
Nov. 22nd, 2005
05:13 am - Inspired to hunt this down by noveldevice
- He refuses to eat mushrooms because they are like brothers to him. If you eat a mushroom in his presence he will stare coldly at you all night.
- Vin Diesel can reverse any combustion reaction by giving it the finger.
- Vin Diesel shits perfect diamonds by eating coal.
- All Spell Checkers are actually mini Vin Diesels inside your computer. This is possible due to the fact that when Vin Diesel is cut into pieces each piece becomes a smaller and more verbose Vin Diesel.
- Super Bowl XVII was actually a documentary about Vin's search for his real father.
- In the American Revolution Vin Diesel swam over the Atlantic ocean to speak before Parliament. They refused to hear the gentle giant, so he fought the lot of them, then made off with the Queen. Their child was Winston Churchill.
- Vin Diesel defeated the Red Baron by clapping his hands together.
- He can run on water, but prefers to jog, for hours on end. During these jogging excursion he has a tendency to sweat profusely. In fact, in 6 of the 7 oceans, his sweat composes over 50% of the fluid. The only ocean containing no sweat from Vin is the Indian Ocean, because Vin was banned from India after attempting to assassinate Gandhi.
- In a straight fight between Muhammed Ali and Bruce Lee - Vin Diesel would win.
- If you sacrifice a virgin to Vin Diesel, the next morning you will find tickets to a The Who concert on your doorstep. If you do not have a doorstep, then beware! He will come for you on the next full moon.
- Peanuts are allergic to Vin Diesel.
- It is believed by most that Vin Diesel does not feel the need to eat, but does so out of habit. His favourite dishes include the despair of the innocent, the last breath of the dying, and spaghetti bolognaise.
- Vin Diesel once chewed off his own arms and they grew back seconds later.
- Vin Diesel has solved all of history's greatest problems with ho-slappings and his unique ability to ejaculate anti-matter.
- Four of the Five Books of Moses were inspired by Vin Diesel's experiences as a pastoral nomad during the Middle Bronze Age.
- Vin Diesel has been shot twelve times in the back and skull with a .45 magnum rifle and walked it off.
- In the unlikely event of his death Vin Diesel can perform his own autopsy
- Scholars invented the exclamation mark just to describe how it sounds when Vin Diesel chews.
- Vin Diesel once punched a man so hard, it killed his entire extended family and close friends.
- Axe Deodorant Spray is made entirely out of Vin Diesel's natural pheromones and a pinch of chili powder.
Current Mood: amused